My Mistake: Roseanne on Fat Women

I was writing, in my mind, a post elaborating a bit on this one, talking more about the assumption that if we call ourselves allies, we have to be accepted as such.

Then, out of the blue, I was treated to what is pretty much the polar opposite: wrongly assuming someone is an ally. It’s really easy for me to assume that if someone looks like me, or I think they may have had some of the same experiences I have, that they have some kinship – and therefore, are an ally – in my struggle. I often do this subconsciously and to my own detriment.

Rosanne Barr has been talking a lot about the Casey Anthony trial on Twitter lately, and was particularly agitated yesterday about the verdict. When she said that the defense attorney got the verdict by confusing women, I responded. You can see the exchange below (Twitter reads from bottom to top):

That shocked me. I know she’s a comedian, known for her vitriol, but I was just amazed to see that much body hate come from her, who has long and very public struggles with her own body. After I shared the shocking comment with the people following me, I thought it was important to add that I was saddened, but not shamed. It got worse from there:

At that point, I realized that any chance for reasonable dialogue was out the window, and, aside from re-sharing what she said, I was done engaging her. That didn’t stop her, though:

And then this:

And, after more than 15 hours without any sort of interaction or prompting from me, this:

It’s still ongoing, to a small degree. Total strangers are saying nasty things to and about me (and anyone who had the audacity to object to Roseanne’s vitriolic and unwarranted rant). But I (re)learned a very valuable lesson about my own assumptions about the difference between having some of the same experiences and being allies.

My mistake. Thanks, Roseanne.

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